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The Inner Child

In the previous chapter, we explored the parts of the mind—the driver, the disciples, and the pilot seat. Now, we dive deeper into one of the most critical relationships in your life: the relationship between the mother and the child. This connection is not only foundational to your mental and emotional well-being but also holds the power to shape your entire existence.

The Relationship Between the Mother and Child

At the heart of your consciousness is the mother-child relationship. The mother is your conscious mind—the awareness, the conscious thoughts, the will that drives you through your day-to-day decisions. The child is your inner child, your subconscious mind—the part of you that holds the key to your instincts, memories, and conditioned responses to the world.

This relationship is the most important relationship in all of creation. Why? Because it is through this connection that all of life flows. The way you treat your inner child affects not only your emotional and mental state but also your physical body and spiritual well-being.

The inner child is not to be seen as a burden, something to be ignored or suppressed. It is not simply “the ego” as many spiritual teachers have labeled it. While it is true that the ego, in its unbalanced form, operates through the inner child, the inner child itself is not inherently bad. In fact, it is a pure expression of your being, deserving of love, care, and nurturing.

The Inner Child and Its Power

The inner child carries the deepest truths of who you are. It holds unhealed wounds, unaddressed pain, and repressed emotions, but it also carries the capacity for boundless love and immense power. It is the very foundation of your life’s energy and creativity.

However, if this relationship is neglected, the consequences can be severe. When the mother (your conscious mind) ignores or invalidates the child, the child becomes wounded. And when the inner child is hurt, it begins to take control, acting out of fear and old programming, often in destructive ways. This is when the child, in its pain, can make decisions that negatively affect your life—decisions that can feel like they are coming from nowhere, but in truth, they are the result of a deep, unconscious disconnect between the conscious mind and the subconscious mind.

In extreme cases, the inner child’s influence can even lead to physical illness, as the body reflects the turmoil of the mind. The child’s wounds manifest through stress, anxiety, disease, and dis-ease. The child has so much power—it can foreclose on the mortgage of your soul and even end your physical existence if it is left unattended and untreated.

The Child Is Not the Ego

It is vital to recognize that the inner child is not the ego, even though many people tend to confuse the two. The ego is often seen as a self-centered, defensive aspect of the psyche that tends to be reactive, arrogant, and out of touch with the higher self. But the inner child is much deeper than the ego. It is an expression of pure innocence, vulnerability, and potential. It’s the part of you that was shaped by experiences—good and bad—and often, it is still waiting for the nurturing love it didn’t receive in childhood.

When we call the inner child the “ego,” we are projecting a misunderstanding of what this part of us truly represents. The ego is a mask that forms over the true inner child—protecting it from the world’s harsh judgments and helping it navigate reality. However, the true inner child is the heart of our soul, and it needs to be cared for.

The key is not to reject or ignore the child because of what others have called the “ego.” Rather, we need to rebuild the relationship between the mother (conscious mind) and the child (subconscious mind) based on love, trust, and compassion.

Nurturing the Inner Child

So, how do we nurture this relationship? How do we transform the inner child from a fearful, reactive force into a source of wisdom, creativity, and peace?

The first step is to acknowledge the child’s existence and its pain. Just as a mother would listen to her child when it is upset, you must listen to the emotions, thoughts, and feelings of your inner child. Don’t dismiss them or brush them off. Acknowledge that they are real and worthy of your attention.

Then, speak to your inner child as you would speak to a beloved, innocent soul that needs comfort. The four key phrases we discussed in Chapter 2 are the foundation of this nurturing relationship:

  1. I’m sorry. – Apologize for neglecting the child, for the ways in which you may have caused it pain, or ignored its needs.
  2. Please forgive me. – Ask for forgiveness for the wrong beliefs you may have instilled in the child and for abandoning it during times of need.
  3. I love you. – Offer unconditional love and embrace the child, reminding it that it is safe and worthy of affection.
  4. Thank you. – Express gratitude to the child for its patience, its resilience, and its loyalty to you, despite everything.

The Inner Child’s Role in Healing

When you nurture your inner child, you create a safe space for it to heal. The wounds it carries begin to fade, replaced with love, understanding, and trust. As you build a deeper, more loving relationship with your inner child, the power of your subconscious mind becomes aligned with your higher consciousness, allowing you to make more conscious decisions, rather than reacting from old patterns.

It is through this relationship that you tap into true freedom—the freedom to live without fear, shame, or guilt. The child, once healed, becomes a co-creator in your life, bringing joy, creativity, and a deep sense of purpose. The bus of your life moves forward with clarity, power, and grace.

The Cost of Neglecting the Inner Child

The opposite is also true: when the mother-child relationship is neglected, when the inner child is ignored or rejected, the consequences can be severe. The child may begin to act out in destructive ways—bringing physical illness, emotional instability, and self-sabotage. Without the nurturing love of the conscious mind, the child becomes lost in fear and confusion, taking the bus wherever it pleases, often far away from your true path.

When this happens, it feels as though life is spinning out of control, but it is merely a reflection of a disconnected relationship between your conscious mind (mother) and your subconscious mind (inner child). Without a stable, loving connection, the mind becomes fragmented, and your reality becomes disordered.

Healing the Child: A Sacred Responsibility

To heal and transform your life, you must begin with the healing of your inner child. This is a sacred responsibility—not just for your emotional well-being but for your physical and spiritual health as well. The relationship between the mother and the child is the foundation upon which your entire life is built. When this relationship is nurtured and balanced, everything in your life will begin to align with your highest good.